----------- soulful transformation through the stars. -----------

20 Jul 2011

creative surrender {details}

I'm scattered. My body and mind are stretched thread-thin between wiping, feeding, supervising, helping, and all the little actions required for a little person, as well as commenting, researching, reading, doodling, painting, printing......

I made peace with What Is a couple of years ago, but it's a process.

I fluctuate. Mostly going with the scattered chaotic flow. Other times, like now, when I'm bursting at the seams with ideas, I fight it hard and find myself on the verge of tears at the lack of just a freakin' 15 minutes without interruption. I pretend the gathering dust and dishes don't exist, because there are priorities and only one of me. 
I know I'm not alone. And art is happening.....

sketches for collage idea

How do you develop your work?

I tend to be the throw-material-unto-surface-and-see-what-happens type of artist. But occasionally, and only in recent times, I have been drawn to details. And details sometimes require forethought.

I resist it and resist it, and after frustration at not seeing what's in my head manifest...... I surrender. This work wants focus. This work demands slow. This work asks me for gentleness.

Often what we do is habit of an innate nature, but we have many potentials within us, if we're willing to give them a chance.


  1. i waited patiently for children to grow - for more time without interruptions - 20 years later still being interrupted - but it doesn't matter anymore. many potentials within us - yes, i agree - if we believe this, and have patience they will be revealed slowly and in their time.

  2. I know what you mean. Lately I've felt like there isn't time for everything. But I do believe it's up to us to shuffle priorities to make time for what's really important to us. Not that you can ignore your kids, of course, but I think you should let yourself off the hook with the dishes and dusting. All that will still be here tomorrow, or next week, but you owe it to yourself to listen to your creativity when it's here and calling you. I hope you can find ways and time to work slowly!

  3. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy and am inspired by your blog. I too am struggling to find those 15 minutes for creative expression and find that it is so hard to maintain and retain focus for such short periods of time. I'll keep tyring, and it definitely is a process...

  4. This was very honest, and very inspiring. Thank you for reminding me of our innate potentials and to not give up :)

    <3 Belly B

  5. What an inspiring post. I just want to grab a canvas and paint.

  6. i'm scattered at the moment..have been for the past few months. lots of little things on the go.. but this time around i'm liking it.. going with the lack of focus, and just letting it wander. not much being completed..but its all there. sometimes i do feel an irritation arise..but brings with it more of an awareness of preconditioned thought, than any real discomfort. i occasionally loose track of stuff in process.. and it feels so good when i stumble across it..and feel the inspiration to finish it, or realise that its already complete as it is..i just didnt realise it back when.

    enjoying the potency..of our potentials..allowing them to fill up and flow...
    all in its own time:)

  7. oh Clare! surely at SOME point they don't need you every 5mins?!!!! lol

    Katie, yep! the housework does need doing simply because living in filth or clutter doesn't help creativity, but i have no qualms about shuffling it down the list of priorities. ;)

    thanks so much for your kind message Anon, it means a lot.

    ari, i recognise different types of scattered. some is like seeds in the wind, chaotic but will eventually fall and sprout. other times, like now, it's anxiety, ungrounded. but i've taken 10mins to regroup, and am better for it.

  8. I really know what you mean. I feel like there are things to do and to take care of everywhere I look. Daily chores, commitments and work that all seem to lead to me losing my focus especially since I'm very much drawn to detail too...so I carry all these creative ideas around with me hoping that at some point I will have the time... Funny, it sounds a lot like my post today :-) xo

  9. What beautiful thoughts. And how do I develop my work? I have never been one for doing sketches of preliminary work, but rather just jump to the painting (my art teachers wanted to kill me at times). But I found that some of the spontaneity of my paintings disappeared in the course of sketches and sketches (and sketches).

    And what frustrates me the most? Having an incredible moment of inspiration and being at work where all I can do is write it down on a post it and hope to have time at night to work on it. The reality? I am too tired most days, the inspirations pass and alas, one piece of art work will never be seen.

    PvdH -designer and illustrator


  10. No personal jab taken ;) that is why I exposed the subject. It is a debate which I find incredibly interesting as (in my own personal opinion it is not so black & white). That is the beauty about blogging, interacting, hearing new opinions, and evolving as a person.

    Thanks for taking your time to voice your opinion!

  11. I really really do know how you feel, coincidentally I wrote a post on journals and sketchbooks last night. I was taking pictures of old books of mine and it mde me realise the different space Im living in know. I no longer have periods of time to fill with doodling and wondering what to do next. If I dare to pick up a pen with the kids around, more often than not both the pen and sketchbook get hijacked and destroyed. My kids are 2 and 4 and its a demanding time. However, I feel more inspired now than I have ever felt, I used to get bored and not know what to do with my time...any peace I get now is so appreciated. I keep having to remind myself to embrace the chaos and energy of kids, it is fleeting (so Im told!!). Hope you find some peace x

  12. The creative process has been a huge struggle for me since my third child was born. As a stay-at-home-mom, I have a hard time allowing myself the time to create while my hubs is at work to provide for us. So my days are spent cleaning and taking care of household chores. If I do get to create anything, it's usually an art activity for the kids to be creative themselves. I'm fortunate to have a spare room that was turned into and art/craft room, and hubs always says I should spend time creating after the kids go to bed and the house is quiet. But I have a very private personality when it comes to creating and it's hard for me to do when he's home. So for now, it's journals filled with sketches and ideas.

  13. i feel like this so much and you just put it in to words!

  14. You are definitely not alone :) Though I don't have the interruptions of a little one, I do have my daytime job that is definitely just as needy as a little one :)
    So, I relish in the me times, which is generally the wee hours of the night...lucky for me (or perhaps it is just habit now) the wee hours are my most creative.
    As far as a process I am definitely more of a chaotic type and, like you, just throw everything out there and see what comes :) Somtimes I jot down doodles or ideas but not nearly enough. I actually want to do that more but it would definitely be a matter of making it a habit to make it stick...
    xoxoxo brynn

  15. i've come to the point where if i can spend even just 5 minutes doing something creative, it keeps the soul-chaos down to a dull roar.

    this past couple of weeks i've picked up more shifts at work and i'm feeling the lack of creative time very acutely by now....and realizing exactly how much i NEED it to stay {somewhat} sane...lol {it's all relative}

    but i very much *get* the almost desperate wail for uninterrupted time. dare to dream. :D

    big thing for me was lowering my standards to the point where the effort became much more important than the outcome...

    which isn't really a lowering of standards but a shift of focus..


  16. no. you are deffinitely not alone in this. sometimes i want to go around with a t-shirt saying Leave Me Alone alà Greta Garbo : D

  17. A "Leave me alone" T-shirt sounds like an ace idea!! ;)

  18. Sometimes I feel so bound to all I MUST do that I don't feel like I really have time to just create. I need more of a routine, because in my routines, I find those free moments to be and create. Maybe I need to make time for such things.

  19. This is exactly how I'm feeling right now, this minute. Bursting at the seams almost. I need to create...that is what will help.

    I just made a blog please check it out and tell your friends!:)